that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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