Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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