Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
