Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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