She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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