She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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