Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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