You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
