I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
