why didn't you poke me back
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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