I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
