He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
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I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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