I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
