break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
