i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize