If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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