my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Floor bacon is actually really good
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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