i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
