I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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