What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
