You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
