I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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