I showed him my bush... on skype.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
