he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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