he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
NoShamevember. You game?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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