On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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