I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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