I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need to calm my uterus...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
dude. I can hear the air.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
