It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
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Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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