i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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