I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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