why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
