OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
