the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize