I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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