I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
