I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize