like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
