when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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