i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
