i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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