3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
