he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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