its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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