Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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