yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i would one night stand the shit outta him
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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