i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
