apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize