ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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