Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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