I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
