I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
