It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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