So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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