When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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