Slut skills are useful in every country.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize