I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
